A Study in Death
"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." John 12:24
How do I fall into the earth?
How do I die?
I fear. Afraid of loneliness...
I fear. Afraid of barrenness...
I have the ultimate example. Jesus teaches me how to die, because He died and He did it perfectly. He lived the Father's will, giving up His own. He went down to the flames of hell, took the keys to death, and he rose again. He made the ultimate sacrifice, so I too, can sacrifice without fear. A life surrendered. Does it matter if the olive tree does not bloom or my dreams of earth remain unfulfilled? Will I still believe?
A seed is small. So I begin small...with my daily life. Faithful in the little things, where I give up my own demands, all the time! It seems I am thrust into this mental surrender, daily. Choosing to let go of my own ways, thoughts and lean on what Gods words say, is such a battle. I do not want to be like the unwise virgins who although were virgins and waiting, were neither prepared nor watching their hearts, keeping the oil! and they slept, or the lazy steward who buried his talent, or the seed that remains alone and barren.
So, help me God to die, that I may live!
I don't have this figured out. "God give me style and give me grace..."